Monday, May 6, 2013

Becoming Reaquainted...

I've been off here for some time now. My life had become really busy. It will be interesting to go back through my posts and see what was happening in my life around my last post.
Lets see....what has happened. In a nutshell...I am now a single mother of 3. I am almost a nurse (just in the middle of pregrad, which is consolidation) and then I graduate mid June. I am also in the midst of relocating 1.5 hours south of where I live now, and I am still on a journey towards The Shrinking Me. Although, I should rename my journey as I have grown tremendously in the past few years. The past couple years in college has been...interesting. There have been sleep deprivation, stress, change. During my first semester exams, my dad was diagnosed with colon cancer. He had a right hemicolectomy to remove the tumor. Some of his lymph nodes were infected too. He underwent chemotherapy.The cancer metastasized to his liver and lung. The first day of my third semester, he had 60% of his liver removed, had a difficult recovery, and then underwent his second round of chemo. On the second day of May, we found out his cancer was in both lungs, and was inoperable. Radiation plus chemo will likely be the course. It has been a hard couple of years for him, and for us.
I gained 24 pounds that first year of college. I was bound and determined that that was coming off, and it wasn't going to happen during the second year. I started a job as a health care aide so my summer last year was very busy. I built running into the mix. By the time class started in Sept, I had lost all that I had gained. The stress of dads liver surgery exhausted me. Two weeks into the course and it felt like two months. But I hung in there for me, and for them. Around October I started Isagenix. It was awesome. I lost 9lbs and 20 inches in the first month I did it. But I couldn't keep up the momentum. I personally believe that my cortisol levels are keeping my weight on. I have to work extra hard to lose weight. And that's ok. I'm a hard worker.
The thing is, I have discovered that I'm strong. I am strong mentally, emotionally and physically. I finished school with a 3.8 GPA, which is pretty good for going thru school with 3 girls, my dad having, fighting, surviving and fighting cancer, going through a divorce and figuring out what to do next.
I bought sessions with a personal trainer, and he has been kicking my butt. I cannot even say how much I love it. That feeling....the second the weight is in the air and I'm lowering it I feel almost euphoric. I am in love with weight training. I have a friend who is a marathon runner, and he has awakened in me the desire to run. I am a newbie runner, so I'm not very good at it yet. But I will be. When I see people running, I have this desire, this urge to start running too. My friend has just completed his 3rd full marathon, and numerous other races this past year. Within 7 months, he has bettered his last marathon time by an hour! That amazes me beyond belief. It has fueled within me this....desire to kick some serious ass. Some time ago, around the beginning of this Shrinking Me blog, when I first started it, I had the desire to become a personal trainer. And then I went to college to be a nurse. That dream of being a personal trainer still lives in me. And one day I will realize it. In the meantime, I'm going to be my own personal trainer and along with my trainer and the inspiration of my marathon friend, I'm gonna kick my own booty. I haven't left the road to fitness...I've just taken a bumpier path, but I can see a much better trail now, more defined, more stable, clearer. I've jumped many hurtles in the past couple years and I'm looking forward to enjoying this journey even more now that I've been tested and I am a much stronger person.